It's the same old situation..

2005-02-06T16:38:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a choice to watch a line up of shows or a movie Ben Affleck was in.

I choose the movie.

It's called Chasing Amy and was so good that I barely touched the remote after initially putting it on. It was amazing, and I think everyone should go out and rent it just for the dialogue. It was so awesome, and had a lot of intense emotion and wasn't all, this is a lesbian. Guy falls for lesbian. They have sex. The end. It was good, and I think everyone should watch it.

Speaking of television, the Superbowl is on. I don't actually watch football, nor do I care about it but wow, they are taking super precautions with the entertainment for the half time show aren't they? Paul McCartney? Personally when I think of big sweaty guys chasing around pig skin on freshly mowed grass, Paul McCartney doesn't exactly come to mind. But then again, neither did Janet Jackson's tit but god damnit, atleast it was more entertaining than an ex Beatle will be.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm not a Beatles girl. If I lived in the sixties, I'd be all over the Rolling Stones. Well.. ma.. yeah, I'd be all over them. Mick Jagger was pretty hot back then.

Beyond that, tonight I'm going out for the first time in a few weeks. I don't know why I haven't been going out lately, but it's about fucking time. The music scene around here is excellent and the people are fucking cool, but yet I decided to become a hobbit for a few weeks. So we're going a little past the big city to a heavy metal bar, because as soon as the words "heavy metal" came out of Christina's mouth, I was reminded of Wayne's World and knew I had to go, just for that reason.

I wish my life would take on it's interesting soap opera again, but then I'd have to complain about how it was so complicated.

2005-02-05T13:54:00.000-08:00

Vicky called me this morning and asked me if I'd join her in a game of curling. Uhh, for those of you who don't know, curling is a sport played on ice, with brooms and some rocks that you slide down the ice the sweep to make it go into the designated circle. I don't do sports. I am not a sports person, so it was a lot of me watching the rock slide past then laughing at it because of how pointless the game was. I took along Sebastian as well, and the man wore leather pants and big combat boots. I love him, but god damnit he's stupid sometimes.

We did however have our second band practice yesterday, Vicky and I. .. Okay, we're really still playing Why Don't You Get A Job, and after what seems like the hundreth time Sebastian stopped and asked us to pick a new song.

.. I really wish Sebastian would book a few more gigs with his bands to be able to pay for his own drug habit. It seems like everynight now around nine he hugs me and tries to make small talk before asking to borrow money he'll never return. I don't have a problem with him doing drugs, it's his personal choice. Not a healthy one, but his choice anyways. I do have a problem when I can't pay my phone bill because I've loaned him all the money I can. I mean sure he shares, but I don't need a coke addiction. I cannot afford a coke addiction. Just two or three gigs and he'd have enough money to support himself for atleast two weeks, unless he spends it all in one drug binge. Coke isn't cheap around here. E is cheaper, but by the end of the high we can't stand eachother so we try not to do E.

Last night at the radio station I had to give away two tickets to a Motley Crue concert, but if no one got the answer right I could have kept them. So knowing that I asked a random question from The Dirt - I asked the listeners to tell me the story that ended with the girl calling Nikki Sixx the next morning and saying she had been raped on the way home. A young woman called in and told the story perfectly, in her own words of course. When I asked to take her name and number at the end it turned out it was my housemate Christina who had heard the story so many times from me that she knew the answer right away. She said she'll consider taking me. ;)

2005-02-03T14:30:00.000-08:00

So although all my personal issues were just made public by a certain ex-boyfriend whom I wouldn't even count as a boyfriend, I'm sitting here typing out songs to my beautiful friend Megan because she had an equally crap day. I think my sole purpose in life is to cheer people up. I don't even know if Megan is sad or even caring, but since she just bitched about a bad day and set her MSN on away I decided to cheer her up even if she isn't sad. Once I sat outside of a housemate's bedroom door when they were feeling like shit with my acoustic guitar and attempted to sing to him, although I didn't know the chords to the songs I was singing and I can't really sing anyways. I just like cheering people up.

Let me elaborate on that first sentence there. For about a month and a half I dated this sixteen year old boy, which is in fact illegal but luckily for me I didn't even kiss him so there is no way I could possibly get into trouble. Well, he wasn't as annoying at the beginning of our relationship and the only reason I said yes when he asked to date me exclusively was because my "great friend", Sebastian told me to. It would be a small joke, but certainly a really stupid thing and mindfucking thing to do. So I dated him for a month and saw him maybe three times in the month of January. Last night as I was listening to Sick Love Song by Motley Crue, I decided it was definately time to end this before it got further. He had admitted he loved me only four weeks into the relationship so it wasn't like I was the psycho.

I sent him an e-mail, since breaking up in person wouldn't allow me to say everything I wanted to see and leave me satisfied. I like to keep my satisfaction at a rather nice level, because if I don't then I'm left being used. So I sent him a little less than nice e-mail explaining everything and let the truth come out that I had been seeing Sebastian at the time we were dating and that I had never liked him. I did apologize for that and even offered to be a shoulder to cry on a face to yell at when he read it. I didn't leave him high and fucking dry here people.

I went to bed feeling relieved that I had atleast solved one problem. This morning I wake up to find my inbox full, and inside is a nice little ditty from him. No, a really fucking long and unnecessary e-mail explaining to me how he had problems. He was supposedly raped, his dad beat him, he's suicidal, kids picked on him for being different, and blah blah blah the same shit any teenage kid will make up to get attention when they don't deserve it. I quickly read through it all and came upon mine. Calling Sebastian a drug dealer and an emptyheaded retard. Sebastian may be an emptyheaded retard, but he is not a drug dealer!

I'm joking of course, when he's not on smack he's a perfectly well adjusted, intelligent human being. However he does have his drug problems that I look past now, and occasionaly join in on. He doesn't deal drugs, and this little bitch had no reason to bring up Sebastian in an e-mail that was directed solely towards me. Atleast not a personal attack towards Sebastian. A small mention is appropriate since he was the man I was seeing during our relationship. Then I look up at the top of this email and see he has sent into a large group of my friends. My friends do not like him, they never did and I had to beg them to let him come over. They never liked him. Apparantly though he feels they did and even more so to send a really long email about his life to all of them, plus having my email I sent to him being attatched.

After that I got tons of people adding me saying he was an assholee and that he was really disillusional and I quickly became friends with some of his worse enemies.

Sure it was wrong, but... that's a past mistake and it's time to move on. Like how Vicky (black haired friend, remember her?) came over today and after ranting for an hour about that kid her, Baz and I got to work on our first song - Why Don't You Get A Job, an Offspring cover! I really hate the Offspring but it's a fun song and I can actually play it and I love seeing Sebastian sitting there looking bored as he plays the song flawlessly for the billionth time.

You're the toast of the town!

2005-02-01T21:03:00.000-08:00

So I'm leaving behind an era to start a new one here at S.O.S. It's kind of refreshing to look here and not see the same old complaining about school or graphic details that even I no longer want to read. So here it is, a brand new pallette to splatter my ideas.

I guess I should introduce myself. I'm a twenty year old rock n' roll drama queen living just outside a city with an awesome music industry. I've had an extremely interesting childhood of drugs and rockstar dreams and I'm not afraid or ashamed of my past, although some of it was childish and immature at the time it's taught me life lessons that I can hope to pass on to a future generation. Yeah, I sound like a fucking public service announcement. What a I saying, I still do drugs, I love to drink and go to rock concerts. I have a rather fast lifestyle but still go to school - a school for the highschool drop outs who want to continue their education - and have a job as a disc jockey for a radio station's heavy metal/hard rock time slot.

I also live in a large house with seven other people. Each person in this house has been down on their luck at one time or another and this house and the people living in it has helped them through it. I love this house, and the people in it.

My real name is not Ivy, it's my pseudo name because I've choosen to keep this annonymous because - I can. I do some things that could probably get me into a lot of trouble, so I'd rather keep it annonymous and protect the guilty. Some names could be changed, some may not. It's all up to me and since you have no idea who I am, you'll never know.